Fun with Stereotypes!

Reflection in Embers

I'm having trouble articulating, to myself, what is wrong. I am subplanting meaningful interactions with isolation, and succumbing to destructive urges. I am slipping with nothing to grip but my school work. That grip, however, is precarious. I feel I am not doing well in school and having difficulty gauging my progress.

Hurts donut

I'm so tired today. My body and mind aches and I just want to curl up and wither away. I feel an emotional cancer growing within me, eating away slowly, taking over other emotions, rational thought. This isn't depression, it's something else. Something angry that wants to hurt.

Silly lowbrow said in a highbrow manner

Don't...cry...in...public...

It never fucking ends...

Now I find out, via an automated voice mail on my phone, that my mother's power is about to be disconnected. The problem? It's in my fucking name! Christ fucking cunt stabbers, she promised to not ever be late on that bill. I mean, she paid the cable, but not the power, what fucking sense does that make???

I'm going to cut off my family's power and water this Friday. Great. I'm a fucking monster. Both bills are in my name, neither can be transered over, i don't trust my parents, both utilities require deposits, and the water will take 3-5 days to be reconnected.

Are you more mature than a 5th grader...

Hahaha, the silent treatment! Classic. Hey, despite all better judgment, I tried to be sociable today and just got the cold shoulder. She has all the emotional capacity of a 5 year old.

How is it you can go from zero to bitch in one week?

And the drama continues...

And this morning starts off with a bang when J****** can't get it through her head that even though she owns the house, that I also have legal and moral rights that I purchase every month when I pay rent. She is completely delusional on what it means to have a tenant.

A person can't do ANYTHING they want to do with their home just because their name is on the title. There are situations that cause limitations. There are limitations when there's a mortgage, when there are restrictive covenants, with zoning regulations, >>AND<< when a tenant is involved.

Every day that goes by I want out of this madhouse more and more.

And today's go fuck yourself award goes to...

J***** H*******! I thought it would be a good idea to document my weight loss process through time lapse photography. All I asked of her is to take one photo of me each night for awhile. She only would do it if it were once a week. CLEARLY YOU DON'T KNOW THE PURPOSE OF TIME LAPSE! Apparently by asking her to take 1 MINUTE a night to help me with what would ordinarily be a pretty cool project, is an inconvenience of such astronomical proportions that I must be out of my FUCKING skull to have considered it.

On top of that apparently we're going to have a film crew in our house for 12 hours next friday or so to film a commercial. She gets paid, I get inconvenienced. I told her I should probably get a kick back because I live here and she laughed at me. I told her I was serious and she said no.

Frustration doesn't even begin to describe how much of a burden she is to my peace of mind and sense of security in my own "home." Oops! Not my home, HER home...I just pay rent.

Fuck it all and fucking no regrets

A little Metallica lyric there to represent my mood right now. Having my masculinity questioned because I'm not a handiman or have any desire to do yardwork will do that to a fella.

Apparently I should just cut my cock off and throw it in a river.

You're Gonna Get Raped

Goddamn it's late

2:30 and I'm still working on shit. Today was a glorious effort in procrastination. I did dishes, straightened up a bit, smoked a lot of cigarettes, cooked dinner in an attempt to avoid actual school work. Hell, I even did school work to avoid doing more important school work. That's bad.

Oh well. I hope I get enough done to justify going to have dinner with B, but I'm not sure at this rate. I'd have to be REALLY REALLY productive to pull that off. It'll make me look like a real dick because I was just getting on his case about not hanging out and all...shit. This ended up being a really bad weekend for me, though. A lot of work even by law school standards. I know he'll understand, but it still makes me look like a douche.

Oh well.

Roly Poly

Ugh, full of Mexican right now, and my belly is stuft. Went out with Joanne, my roomie and we had a good time. We got a nice mariachi serenade of "Livin' la Vida Loca." Joanne and I are doing really well right now. She has been very receptive and compassinate about my emotional difficulties adapting to law school (which are very real) and I love her for that (in a healthy way!) She made me a very tasty meal on Wednesday and we went to see the new Coen Bros. movie on Thursday and then tonight. And all so very plutonic, and that's great. No drama, no tension, no baggage, just friendship, which is precisely what I need right now.

School was good. Put in 5 hours of Graduate Assistant job in, which means my fingers are all but crippled (my job is to hand write information in pencil on folders for contracts. I have about 10,000 (literally) to do. I did about 100 today.

Busy busy weekend ahead of me. I'll end up typing up about 30 pages of material between my notes, a hypothetical, and my memorandum.

Looking forward to hanging out with B for dinner on Sunday.

Law School is the Beast That Eats Its Young

Okay, a bit of an exaggeration but it's brutal. Or as Nathan Explosion would say: "Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuutal!" Law School should come with its own black metal soundtrack it's so brutal.

Other than that, it's always sunny in Stone Mountain!

Haven't written in awhile, gonna be better about it.

I'm quit the Pizza Slut and now I'm just a law student and graduate assistant. I'm playing around with some extra curricular stuff. I've done more ExCurr shit in the last 4 weeks than all of my time at UGA and GSU undergrad put together...x2.

The Docket, the GSU College of Law newspaper, is interested in my humorous article ideas and that makes me happy. I'm gonna see what cause of action Jabba the Hutt's Estate has against Luke Skywalker for blowing up his party barge. Or maybe Sauron can bring suit against Frodo for Trespass and destruction of property. Or how do statutes of limitations work with time travel as in Back to the Future...

Goddamn I'm a big fucking dork.

Still sick

Well, I broke it off with Songbird. Too much trouble. Have to drive 40 miles one way, not allowed to know where she lives, non-existant physical contact, she's an hour late for one date and an hour and a half late for another, she can't be out past midnight, and our conversations make me bored to the point of stigmata (which is Jesus' bloody ears when Mary Magdalene complained to him on the cross that he forgot to take out the garbage).

In the mean time, this made me laugh my hairy testes off.


Spike Star Wars Spots

So sick

Well, I have a cold and my foot has been ravaged by fire ants and I have to go to work in 5 hours. George Bush can suck it. I'll have more insightful wisdom tomorrow.

I LOL'd

Why aren't I in bed?

I should be asleep. I have to wake up for work in 6 hours and 45 minutes for a 10 hour shift at the Pizza Slut and I'm not asleep. I told Songbird (the cutie I went on a date with last week and who I'm going to see on Monday) that I was going to bed, and I meant it. But like so many lonely nights, one thing led to another...and here I am, at the damn idiot machine.

I got some news tonight from my landlady/roommate/friend that kinda bugged me, kinda relieved me. I tried contacting Wild Spark to discuss what was going through my mind, to sort of get confirmation or some sort of validation, but to no avail. I am glad, though. It forces my hand. Shit or get off the pot. I can focus on other things now, more important things such as law school and a lovely woman who I'll call Songbird. (I met Songbird through OkCupid, and she and I have talked a lot and gone out on a date. I really like her and I enjoy talking to her every day. Hell, I don't talk to ANYONE every day.)

Songbird is very sweet, pretty, smart, and she seems to like me, which really is a plus in her favor! I want to take this one slow but steady...do it right and let whatever needs to grow, grow. Shit, I feel like I'm back in the 9th grade. Our schedules are pretty opposite and she lives 40 miles away, but that doesn't bug me...she says it doesn't bug her either, so that's good.

Well, I am going to bed now. 6 hours and 30 minutes to have to wake up.

A New Level

A beautiful and powerful person just gave me a great gift: peace. Or at least, rather, putting me on the path to peace. For several months I felt myself creeping deep down into the abyss, the recesses of my mind that is dark and cold and lonely. Wild Spark pulled out a foul worm that was burrowing a hollow place in me and she is now teaching me how to heal myself.

I don't know how the magick of the universe's energies work, but I know that she is so in tune with the steady healing vibrations that she has disrupted my downward spiral, and I love her for that. She is balance, harmony, justice. I have sworn off reverence and idolatry for any human, but she comes about as close as I will allow for someone to be exalted by me.

She will undoubtedly read this and become bashful as such rediculous praise, but why should I not give credit where credit is due? Should we not all reap the fruits of our labors? A healer in the truest sense of the word, she has inspired me to strive for health and vitality.

Thank you, Wild Spark.

This makes me smile

I haven't posted in a few days. Been up and down. This really makes me smile every time I watch it, hopefully it will for you too.

A Dame to Kill For

Well, maybe not, but possibly.

So I gave OkCupid a try and had moderate initial success. I got 2 basketcases right off the bat and almost met one and changed my mind at the 11th hour. I had the feeling she could get all Fatal Attraction on my ass and I don't want to have to kill a bitch.

The 3rd though, is a different story. Her name is Jennifer and she is an absolute sweetheart. Making her money as an au pair, she spends some of her free time as a volunteer firefighter and first responder (trust me when I say this, she looks amazingly hot in her full-on firefighter gear...ah, a woman in uniform). She's from wealthy stock aparently (her father bought a condo in Hawaii that he's never been too...), but that isn't her path. My only hesitation is her youth, but at 23 she is very mature and I don't feel it will be an issue.

But, joy and panic! We have a date on Monday. I haven't been on an honest to God, one-on-one, first date since I was at least 9 years old or so. Well, whatever doesn't kill me, etc etc.

Evidence of God

Have you ever, dear readers, been given a gift, even one that you've received many times over, that is just so extraordinary that it makes you want to get down on your knees and praise our Heavenly Father? You know, these gifts are so glorious and divine, that they seem to be like a showers of light and color, flowing from silver ewers carried by bobbing cherubim and heralded by the whole of the Celestial Choir.

And when I get up to finally go to work, I shall tread lightly, not from trepidation, but from elation! Jubilation! Adonai Elohim! Masaltov!

5 movie scenes that made me cry

1. "As Good As It Gets" when Jack Nicholson's character says he wants to be a better person.
2. "Good Will Hunting" when Will Hunting finally breaks down to Robin Williams' character, his psychologist.
3. "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" when the 4 Hobbits start to kneel before the newly crowned Aragorn and he stops them, telling them, "My friends, you bow before no man."
4. "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" when the mounted army of Rohan is lined up, facing down their certain doom, and with chilling steadfastness, they all sing "Death!" and charge.
5. "King Kong" Peter Jackson's version where Kong is dying on top of the Empire State Building and his final look into his Love's eyes.

We can't stop here...this is bat country!

No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.

-Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Today I saw "Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson." It was a twisted, deranged romp through the most successful journalist ever to dive over the edge of chemically induced madness.

Through archive footage, a great many conspirators, enemies, friends, loved ones and employers the insane tapestry of this modern day Mark Twain is pieced together. From his romping with and eventual stomping from the Hell's Angels, to his run for Sherriff of Aspen under the Freak Power ticket (he almost won), to working for Rolling Stone as a political contributor, to his inevitable self-inflicted implosion, his brilliance is splashed across the screen like some sort of acid-induced money shot.

The Midtown Landmark Theatre is perfect for this sort of spectacle. I went high, of course. To not do so would be a great insult to the man's memory. I grabbed a couple of beers there and a bag of popcorn and laughed with a few other good souls.

The documentary was poignant, though, elaborating on the foul similarities between that bastard Nixon and our current Son of a Bitch in Chief.

10/10

The Greatest Artistic Acheivement of Mankind

Symphony No. 9 in D minor, Op. 125,
"An die Freude (Ode to Joy)" (1824)
Ludwig van Beethoven
(English translation)

Oh friends, not these tones!
Rather let us sing more
Pleasant and more joyful ones.
Joy! Joy!
Joy, beautiful spark of gods,
Daughter of Elysium!
We enter, drunk with fire ,
Heavenly one, your shrine.
Your magics again bind
What custom has strictly parted.
All men become brothers,
where your gentle wing alights.
Whoever succeeds in the great attempt
To be a friend of a friend,
Whoever has won a lovely woman,
Let him add his jubilation!
Yes, whoever calls even one soul
His own on the earth's globe!
And who never has, let him steal,
Weeping, away from this group.
All creatures drink joy
At the breasts of nature;
All the good, all the evil
Follow her roses' trail.
Kisses gave she us, and wine,
A friend, proven unto death;
Pleasure was to the worm granted,
And the cherub stands before God.
Glad, as his suns fly
Through the Heavens' glorious plan,
Run, brothers, your race,
Joyful, as a hero to victory.
Be embraced, you millions!
This kiss for the whole world!
Brothers, beyond the star-canopy
Must a loving Father dwell.
Do you bow down, you millions?
Do you sense the Creator, world?
Seek Him beyond the star-canopy!
Beyond the stars must He dwell.
Finale repeats the words:
Be embraced, you millions!
This kiss for the whole world!
Brothers, beyond the star-canopy
Must a loving Father dwell.
Be embraced,
This kiss for the whole world!
Joy, beautiful spark of the gods,
Daughter of Elysium,
Joy, beautiful spark of the gods

Consider the Daisies

Okay, this isn't going to be the most brutal, controversial, or inflammatory post to a blog ever, but sometimes some things have to be said: I like daisies. Shut up! Seriously. They're nice. The complexities of our world numbs us to the simple beauties of the world around us. We even seek out complex natural beauties in lieu of basking in the minimalism of certain other aspects of nature and God's glory though the Earth and universe.

Consider the daisy. Simple, elegant, truly a gift that we should enjoy, but it is looked over for more gaudy substitutes such as the chrysanthymum or rose.

Oh, and fuck Tipper Gore.

We're all terminal

Hello, God, it's me Rob, are you fucking out there?

Far be it from me to let technology completely pass me by, I'm going to start this blog in order to embrace something I really don't care about, much like some people in my life right now.

So what is this? Some sort of journal? A diary? A rant page for all my twisted opinions of this sick fucking country and how it can all burn for all I care at this point because media controlled politicians are chowing down at the corporate trough of greed and corruption...wait, this isn't the meeting down at the docks. Shit, wrong forum.

Seriously, I am 30. I deliver pizza. I am about to enter law school. I love politics and hate politicians. I love Jesus and hate Christians. You say you like cognitive dissonance and dichotomy? Welcome and go fuck yourselves, you're going to love it here.